GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: FRIENDSHIPS IN THE GAY BAR

There are no permanent friends. There are no permanent enemies. As in showbiz and politics, there are only permanent interests in the gay bar. What are permanent interests, you might ask? Well, what else? Money, money, money.

JESSICA AND RED

Jessica used to think that Red is a true friend or at least a brother type. Well, they lost touch and didn’t even bother to greet each other when they respectively celebrated their 2012 natal days.

Jessica was annoyed when Red flirted with her via SMS and tried to ask her out on a date. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her.

LITO

Lito the MD was closest to Ella though Jess also found him nice. He recently made his presence felt to announce that he’s back in Earthling. I guess he hoped the three of us will visit him and shower him with drinks. Well, he thought wrong. More so after his no-show at a dinner specially organized after he hinted that he missed hanging out with us.

I honestly doubt that he missed hanging out with us. He probably just missed the drinks and tips.

LUIGI

I’m still in touch with Luigi though I haven’t seen him in a while. Luigi is no longer a kid these days. He at least doesn’t look like one. Our relationship stayed the same though. Luigi knows his place and he knows the only reason why he’s still in touch with me whereas Jess and Ella both lost touch with any MD is because I saw him, Luigi, in a familial way.

Luigi is someone I will try to help in ways I can but I know it won’t be a two way street. He’s not someone I’ll run to in case I’m feeling down or sad. He’s more a ward of mine than a friend. That’s fine though. I’d rather be the one helping than be the one in need.

BIMBY AND KARL

Karl also forgot about Bimby’s birthday. The two are no longer in touch. Karl has moved on and has no more fond feelings for Bimby. Oh well. That’s how the cookie crumbles.

KEITH

Keith recently asked how the girls and I were doing. That was a surprise. Ha.

FLEETING ROMANCES

Jonas and Lea have called it quits. Jonas is now with a woman who used to be with another MD. The merry go round continues.

Even Jamie is now with yet another different woman. Not the girl he got pregnant, not the bar girl whose been with many MDs. Lalala.

PIPAY

Pipay is also communicating with me less and less. From everyday SMS forwards it’s now down to weekly. I guess not getting any tips lessens the motivation to communicate with us. 😀

NO SURPRISE

There is no surprise on my part, no bitterness whatsoever. I’ve already accepted that it’s just a fact: money is the focus and it’s what makes the world goes around in the gay bars.

The girls and I are still friends though. Same with Karl and myself. That much I’m sure of and thankful for.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Things change. Life evolves. Yet somehow some things remain the same in essence. This is true for the gay bars as it turned out.

GIRLS WHO JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

As for us girls who just want to have fun, well, we’re immersed in many non-gay bar related stuff right now. Life happens, yes. However the more things change the more they stay the same in essence. Looks can be deceiving though and things may not be what they seem from afar. Riddles, riddles.

FAMILIAR FACES

I again chanced upon Liam’s Demi recently in the same coffee shop as before. She was again with her gay bar going friends. I like Demi as far as gay bar guests go. However, I recently found out that Demi is now into Bruce, an MD barely out of his teens, who used to be an item with a bar girl Demi is friendly with. That seems crazy and hence, plausible. Sigh.

FEELINGS DON’T FADE AWAY COMPLETELY

I recently pointed out to Ella that Carlo seems fatter nowadays. Ella agreed and on the same breath said that Carlo looks cute still. Indeed no hurt from the past can change Ella’s objective eyes that see Carlo as the handsome man he is.

Still about Carlo, we also found out that Carlo’s Ella is now with her lawful spouse again though it’s obvious Carlo is still the one her heart yearns for.

On another note, we also learned that Ramon is again at the top of his game as an MD and is topping the charts in the gay bar. Oh well. Good for him, I guess? Ella, when she learned that that Ramon is again the creme of the crop, asked me if Jess and I were still going to the bars and hence making Ramon recipient of countless drinks that would make him top MD. Ha-ha.

Robbie is now back as an MD in his bar. He still insists it’s a ‘temp job’ only for the holiday season. We’ll see. Lazybones like him won’t really do well in jobs that require effort. Being an MD seems the easiest job he can do.

MERRY-GO-ROUND of HEARTS

MDs and bar girls left and right are still hooking up and breaking up. Same with MDs and guests. Deceptions are discovered and break-ups are the results. Yawn.

Indeed some things never change. The only thing constant is change.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: TEMP JOB

Some MDs view macho dancing as a temp job. It’s a for now kind of thing for some of them. Some MDs claim that they work as MDs to enable them to finish school or to afford a parent’s medical expenses or to send a sibling to school. Those who grow old gyrating usually got taken in by the big (seemingly) easy money they received from guests who went crazy over them. All they had to do was butter up a guest into giving them money and other material goods. When the guest is not repulsive then all the more does being sweet and physical get easy. Sometimes an MD plays the role of ‘friend’ to a guest who’s into another MD who’s not available or whom the guest had a quarrel with. Easy cash. Be a shoulder to lean on and play cupid in exchange for drinks and tips and possibly more.

THE ALMOST ANTM CYCLE

If you’ve been reading this blog then you know about Robbie the MD. He wanted to go out but I wasn’t up to it. I knew that nothing would materialize between us. Nothing lasting or worthwhile, that is.

Robbie the MD has stayed in touch with me. He was a bum for many months, living off his parents and siblings in the province. He enjoyed drinking with his friends and playing billiards every night. Bum, bum, bum.

Recently Robbie said all his drinking buddies were already gainfully employed. He grew bored and worked a job that earned him minimum wage. He ain’t happy though. As my friend Karl said, Robbie probably misses the tips that he used to get when he was still an MD.

CHRISTMAS MONEY

Robbie intends to go back to being a macho dancer. Why? According to him, Christmas is fast approaching and he wants to have money to properly celebrate Christmas. Robbie doesn’t intend to report for work everyday though and again, he insists that it’s a temp job. Sigh. Poor guests who will be sucked into turning over money to Robbie. Robbie is quite good at what he does and I’m sure he will find some willing and able guests if he does return to macho dancing for the holidays.

What about after the holidays? Will Robbie return to being a bum? Or will be return to being a minimum wage earner? Or will the allure of big money for little to no effort whatsoever be too tempting for Robbie? Only time will tell if Robbie’s macho dancing days will be a temp job as he claims or if he will be tempted by the possibilities the job offers.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: MDs and Bar Girls break up, too

We’ve mentioned in this blog a couple of times that a lot of MDs have bar girls for a girlfriend/wife. They seem to understand each other better since they are in the same line of work. Well, no one is immune from break-ups nowadays. Not even the MDs and bar girls who seem to be made for each other.

GARRETT and GIRL

Garrett and his bar girl girlfriend broke-up a few months back. Garrett was caught cheating. Garrett now stays at the club he works for. The poor heartbroken girl went home to her parents. It seems like she’s still licking her wounds and is still not yet ready to go back to work or to do anything other than play homemaker at her parents’ home.

GABRIEL and GIRL

Gabriel and the bar girl he slashed himself over last year are now broken up as well. Did the bar girl play around with Red again or with Nicholas or another MD? No. It was Gabriel this time who was caught cheating. Well, girl, what comes around goes around, eh?

The bar girl who used to fancy Red and then many other MDs before finally going steady with Gabriel seems to have fallen hard for Gab. She’s now heartbroken.

ALJUR and GIRL

Aljur and his girl are on the rocks. Why? Well, because of another girl. Is there a pattern here somewhere? It seems like it’s the MD who plays around and when caught, it leads to a break-up. So far none of the recent situations I learned about were brought about by the bar girl cheating. It was always the MD who was caught cheating.

NOTHING PERMANENT

Seems like nothing is permanent nowadays. If MDs and bar girls who seem so compatible with each other in many ways (they are both attractive enough, young enough and do the same work that they cannot judge each other unfairly) still break-up, then all the more should gay bar regulars who enter into a relationship with MDs be careful.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: SMALL WORLD

After running into Fred (Keith’s former gay benefactor) near my place of work, I didn’t think I would be running into another person of interest outside the bars too soon. Well, guess I was wrong. I caught a glimpse of a person of interest twice last week. Uh huh. Same person not once but twice in a week. Will wonders ever cease?

ARCHITECT LYDIA

It was Architect Lydia I saw twice in one week. I saw her first in a restaurant. It was late into the night. I was leaving the place when my eyes met the eyes of a woman occupying one of the tables near the exit. It was Architect Lydia!

I let my gaze stay on hers but it was she who broke the eye contact. Her eyes stayed blank the entire time our gazes were locked. My verdict is that she really didn’t recognize me. I was um, in workout wear and looking very different from the Andrina that hit the bars. As Ella said, the dark makes everyone look different. I was actually quite happy that Architect Lydia didn’t seem to recognize me.

She didn’t send me an SMS asking if it was me she saw so I assume she had no idea it was me, Andrina, she saw that night.

THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION

Architect Lydia wasn’t alone when I saw her in the restaurant. The million dollar question now is who was she with?

I didn’t see who was with Architect Lydia but I do know that she was occupying a two seater. It means she was only with one companion. Your guess is as good as mine.

AFTER A FEW DAYS

A few short days later, I was going to have coffee close to midnight. Lo and behold I saw Architect Lydia in a coffee shop not far from the restaurant where I saw her a couple of nights earlier.

Architect Lydia’s face was visible from where I was but I only caught a glimpse of the back of her companion. It was an improvement from the night in the restaurant when I didn’t at all see her companion.

That night in the coffee shop, Architect Lydia’s companion was a young man who was muscular, had an earring on the left ear and was clad in a fitted white tee. It was an MD, I bet.

From the back view I doubt that it was Lawrence. It could have been the MD she was seeing in Numero though. OR a new MD altogether.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY

I remember when Architect Lydia told me that she leads a lonely life. That lonely a life that she’s out with an MD a lot? The same MD perhaps? I think I would be happier if it was a different MD each time but knowing Architect Lydia, it would probably the same MD until and unless the relationship had ran its course already.

Again I was reminded of the temporary cure to loneliness MDs can seem to provide. The emphasis is on temporary. Oh, and expensive at that.

SILENT MOUSE

No, I didn’t message Architect Lydia after seeing her twice. I didn’t want her to know I saw her twice in one week. Neither did I want to alert her as to how I look outside the bars and where I hang out.

She’ll contact me when she needs me. Until then I could only assume that her MDs are still doing the job for her. And that she still has the deep pockets to sustain the gay bar going lifestyle.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: WHEN THE RAIN COMES

Time and time again I’ve written here that the MDs should be smart enough to save for a rainy day.  It’s a basic fact  that they should all know without having to be told.  

Right now there are literal rainy days in Luzon.  And MDs are heavily affected.

Why would they be affected if they don’t live in flood prone areas, you might ask? Well, when rains are heavy then bars don’t have guests.  In fact at least two bars I know of were closed last night due to the weather conditions in the Metro.  No guests means no income.  No income means no money to buy basic necessities.  

A situation like this is one when it helps to have savings.  An MD who has savings won’t starve even after a week of heavy downpour and no budget from the bar.  Those who live on a hand to mouth basis, on the other hand, go hungry after a day or two of no income.  Same for floor mangers.  At least one FM I know is whining about starving after three nights of no work in the bars.  

Even more affected are the MDs whose homes (and their things including appliances and gadgets) were flooded.  They now would have to start anew and replace what the flood ruined.  

Yes, I sympathize with all the flood victims.  I just don’t sympathize as heavily with MDs and FMs who earn thousands of pesos from tips alone on weekends but choose to splurge rather than save.  If they opted to use their money to buy the flat screen television that the flood ruined then that’s their choice.  Now some of them are starving.  

We all learn from calamities.  I hope the one day millionaire MDs and FMs have, too.

Now rain, won’t you please go away? 

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: Conveniently Yours

I know who you are but you don’t have a clue who I am.
I know where you’ve been and who you were with but you don’t know anything about me.
I’m just a stranger in your eyes. You have no clue that I know a lot about you.

Sounds familiar? Well, we intense researchers (really?) often encounter such a scenario. We may run into a person we’ve done intensive researches on because of his or her connection to an MD we know. The other person wouldn’t have a clue as to who we are but my, my, we sure know a lot about him or her.

I just had a similar experience. I was at work. I was all serious and work-mode (uh-huh) when hunger made me realize it was time to eat. Off I went to a nearby convenience store to grab some chow. I was lost in thought as I neared the entrance to the convenience store. Suddenly I was face to face with the person exiting the store at the exact time I was entering the same. It was not just some random person. It was a very familiar face. It was Keith’s former gay benefactor. Gulp.

Thankfully, Keith’s gay benefactor whom we shall call Fred from hereon had no idea who I was. We were never in Earthling at the same time. Neither does Keith have a picture of him and myself together nor a picture of me. In fact I only knew about Fred from Pipay and other sources. The girls and I managed to track down Fred in social networking sites and other search engines. It was through there that I discovered that Keith’s former job near my workplace was in Fred’s company.

Fred and I exchanged glances since we were right in each other’s faces but then we headed our separate ways. Fred went back to his office, I suppose. I went inside the convenience store to buy my food though I had little appetite then. I actually had half a mind to tail Fred and shadow him so I can see where he was going. I was fairly certain I could have pulled that off. I was in my walking shoes and feeling limber, lithe and speedy. I also knew the area was big enough to make me inconspicuous should I feel the need to be so.

I didn’t tail Fred though. What’s the point? He’s done with Keith. I have no interest in Keith. I know where Fred’s office was anyway. More so I didn’t want to alert him about my existence nor for Fred to remember my face.

I immediately told my girls about the Fred incident. Funny it should happen exactly one year after Ara messaged me to ask who Liam was to me. What was that date anyway? Ghosts from MDs past cross Andrina’s path day?

It was not fun to run into a familiar face from the gay bar when I was in my work mode. To think it was a person who didn’t know who I was that I ran into. More so I suppose if it was Keith himself I ran into. Thank goodness I never ran into Keith when he was working in Fred’s office. I suppose I could have handled the same just fine but it definitely wouldn’t be fun.

Girls, I share this with you to remind you that our past is very much connected to our present. Remember that all the time and always be alert. Be prepared for any scenario.

Will that chance encounter be the last I’ll see of Fred live? I don’t know. But I definitely will keep my eyes open even during breaks when I head for the convenience store. Better safe than sorry.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: NO SPACE FOR REGRETS

Are you a gay bar regular? Go on reading if your answer was yes. Go on anyway even if your answer was no especially if you intend to be one or feel that you will eventually be one.

Are you ashamed to be a gay bar regular? If not yet a regular, will being one eventually be something you think you’ll be ashamed of? (Answer in your mind)

Are you scared that you will run into someone you know in the gay bar? (Answer in your mind and be honest!)

Will you vehemently deny it if someone tells you they think they saw someone who looked like you in a gay bar the other night (and you know it was you they saw)? (Is your answer to everything I’ve asked so far yes?)

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

The questions I asked are rather difficult questions. Why? Because being a gay bar regular is not for everyone. It’s also not as simple as say, being a regular at a particular salon. Being a gay bar regular is something you enter with eyes wide open and well aware of the possibilities you might encounter in the bar and even outside because of your activities in the bar.

HEAD HELD UP HIGH

So someone you know saw you inside a gay bar. What exactly were you doing? If you were just watching the show, drinking or talking to an MD then why panic? It’s different if you’re very much married though. Have a good excuse. More so if you were seen getting physical with an MD despite being very much taken.

It’s also good to throw the question back. What was Tita doing in the gay bar herself? Did Tito know that Tita was a regular of gay bar X? Ha-ha!

If you’re not doing anything illegal and not doing something against your personal rules of conduct then head help up high, sister.

REGRETS

If you feel or know for certain that you will regret being a gay bar regular then don’t be one. Or stop being one ASAP. There’s no room for regrets though. Why regret something you wanted at a particular point in your life?

I cannot speak for the girls and Karl but I do not regret my gay bar going days. True, it’s not something I will talk about openly just to anyone. Still, I know for a fact that the entire gay bar going phase helped me get through a tough time in my life. I had my share of fun as well. No regrets for this girl who just wants to have fun. 🙂

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: THE BEHIND THE SCENES FOLKS

The most noticed in the gay bar are the macho dancers of course. Next are the floor managers and the impersonators. There are other unsung behind the scenes employees though.

THE WAITERS

The waiters are often unnoticed unless they’re young and good looking. Waiters like that are often requested to dance and soon enough they turn into MDs. How about the waiters who are not MD-types?

Waiters often earn from food and drink commissions (apart from tips that are never at par with the tips the MDs get). They get a portion of the earnings from orders. I realized that belatedly. It suddenly made sense why Ben, our regular waiter in Earthling, was so eager to have us order food. It wasn’t because the MDs haven’t had a decent meal yet. It was so he, Ben, could earn from food commissions.

The waiters make good allies, mind you. They can be a little lenient or a little strict. They can also make sure the MD’s gin tonic is too harsh or just right. Ha-ha.

OTHER EMPLOYEES

I was in line at the solo occupancy ladies room in Numero last Friday the 13th. The girl inside seemed to be taking her sweet time. I ended up making conversation with the bar employee tasked to be usher and make sure the ladies find the loo and are safely in and outta there. When a lady tried to cut in, I tapped her and told her I was in line. I further told the lady that if she can’t hold it in anymore, the men’s room was unoccupied. The girl looked surprised and then she and her companion actually took my suggestion and went inside the men’s room. That scene happened twice. Another girl tried to cut in and I made the same suggestion which she heeded.

The employee manning the loos looked at me in surprise and told me I was feisty. I told him I was only reminding the people that there was a line and no one gets to cut in. I was merely asserting my rights as first in line. Ha-ha. Finally the girl inside the ladies room exited. There were two of them at the same time as it turned out. They were buds. I guess friends who go to the loo together stay together.

THE YAYAS

The girls and I made friends with one Yaya in Earthling. I even bought food for her during the times I was buying food for Luigi. Indeed the gay bar yayas are underappreciated and underpaid. I once witnessed Keith shouting at the poor Earthling yaya. Bad Keith.

The yayas are in charge of making sure the MDs are dressed properly and made up especially when there are production numbers. The yaya is also in charge of making sure the MDs are where they’re supposed to be when it’s their turn to dance. I first got to know the Earthling yaya we befriended when she’d approach Keith or Ramon now and then to remind then that one more song and then it’s their turn to dance. Jamie told me that they have to give a tip to the yaya whenever they get tabled and get tips from guests. Same goes for the floor manager, waiter and the DJ.

I later found out that the yaya in Saturn washes the bikinis of the MDs for 100 pesos a month per MD. Whattaway to make a living. The only consolation is that the yaya probably gets a kick out of being with such hot young men all the time. More often than not the yaya is a gay guy so it all the more factors in the dynamics.

DJ

I already mentioned the diskjockey or DJ in passing as someone who gets a tip from the MD. The DJ is important because he introduces the MD and even comes up with a monicker for the MD. MD X can be called “Mr Universe” and he can be known as such for the rest of his career.

I remember the Earthling DJ that Pipay warned me to stay away from. Ha-ha. Thanks for that one, Pipay.

CHOREOGRAPHER/ENTERTAINMENT MANAGER

They are usually impersonators themselves or started out as such. The better the choreographer the better the production numbers.

GUARDS

Oh yes the guards are important figures. They ensure safety against potential raiders, rude customers and rude MDs as well. In Earthling the girls and I are sort of friends with their head guard. Ha-ha.

UNSUNG HEROES

Indeed everyone should pitch in for a gay bar to succeed. It’s usually only the MDs that the guest remembers but there are many unsung heroes in the dark place with flickering lights and gyrating men.

 

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: GB MERRY-GO-ROUND

Para lang mga Kapamilya, Kapuso at Kapatid ang mga MD at FM na ‘yan! Mga palipat-lipat!

Or kung mahilig ka sa pulitika, isipin mo na para lang silang mga politikong palipat-lipat ng partido!

IT’S A SMALL WORLD

The GB industry is not unlike showbiz and politics: it’s a small world.

Those in one bar tonight can be in another bar by next week and yet another bar by next month. It shouldn’t surprise you either if by the same time next year he’s back in the bar where you first saw him. They just go round and round in circles.

Unlike TV stars, there are more than three bars to choose from. There are a good number of bars in various parts of Quezon City and then there a good number of bars in the south as well. There are a good number of options for a gyrating Juan de la Cruz.

The people of interest to the girls who just want to have fun

Ethan, the MD I saw in Good Boy, has been to a good number of bars since Good Boy folded. In fact, Ethan even worked in Earthling for a while. Whattasmallworld!

Liam used to work for Hottie. Whenever he would get suspended for one of his misdeeds, Liam will report for work in Earthling. When Liam was suspended a third time in Hottie, he transferred to Earthling for good. Hows’ that for GB allegiance?

Banjo, Jackson and Sylvester have been around. They’ve worked in the far north, in the middle north and down south of Metro Manila. They’ve worked for popular bars in the early 2000s that have already closed. Indeed they’re used to the merry-go-round.

Even young Aaron has worked for two gay bars by the time he reached 18 years old. Yes, he was an underage ‘model’ in his first bar.

A good number of MDs came from hosto bars or otherwise worked as GROs in another gay bar before turning into a fully pledged MD. Karl’s Bimby was one of those ‘converts’.

Lito has worked for a bar that already closed long ago. He, Colby and Ramon were working in Earthling when the girls and I first saw them. Then the three of them transferred to Milky Way. Then they tried their luck in Saturn. Then they gave Hot Stuff a go. Any day now Lito is scheduled to try his luck in yet another bar whereas Colby is back in Earthling while Ramon is M.I.A. and supposedly seeing guests on the sly. Whew. Good thing I’m good at keeping track of things.

DO NOT BURN BRIDGES

I don’t know if MDs and FMs realize how important it is not to burn bridges. The door they might be walking out of tonight might be the same door they’ll be knocking on months from now if their supposed greener pastures don’t pan out.

LOYALTY WHO?

Loyalty to a gay bar is not a trait most MDs would observe. It’s perfectly acceptable for MDs to hop from one bar to another and then return to their original bar. I estimate that an MD can have several merry-go-round cycles in his entire career as an MD. If it’s a long career such as Banjo’s or Jacksons’s that has already spanned a decade then more cycles are to be expected. Same goes for FMs.

When Karl and I saw familiar faces in Saturn, we weren’t that surprised. It’s all part of the merry-go-round.

Indeed there are no permanent friends and no permanent enemies, only permanent interests. As I’ve written many times: all is fair in love, war and in the gay bar! 😉