Howdy, ladies and gentlemen? It’s been awhile. Make no mistake. I’m very much alive. I still regularly check my mails and reply to those who drop a line. I just haven’t written anything new in this site until today.
What are the two worlds I’m pertaining to here? What else but your gay bar life and your real life. I assume most of you have a bar name (“Ashley” or something far from your real name which is Maragarita) and then a nickname people call you by at work or at home (Marge maybe, Margarita?). What happens when MD Shawn finds out in broad daylight that guest Ashley is actually Margarita a.k.a. Marge?
ALWAYS BE ON YOUR TIPPY TOES
If you’re already a gay bar regular (and one who wishes to keep her real life separate from her gay bar life) then you should know what I mean when I say that you have to constantly be vigilant! Keep your eyes open, dear girl, and be on your tippy toes like a ballerina.
As I wrote in earlier posts, being a gay bar regular is not for everyone and most certainly not for the fainthearted. It’s not ideal for people who insist on keeping their personal lives private and very much separate. It would entail a lot of sneaking around and worrying. Tsk tsk. But if you’re already at that point when you’re a regular who wants (or has) to keep your real life separate then I guess I should just hope any pointers I write here actually helps.
REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE
One of the girls who just want to have fun recently had a close call. Several of them in fact. And I don’t mean just seeing an MD in a coffee shop. It was running into an MD in one’s actual place of work.
Allow me not to specify if it was Ella, Jess or myself who had that close call but suffice it to say that it was one of us. What happened? Well, an analogous case is that Nurse GJWTHF (girl just wants to have fun) actually saw MD X (whom she knows and has talked to inside a gay bar) in the hospital she works for. Nurse GJWTHF almost had to attend to MD X but good thing there were other nurses there and she wasn’t the one tasked to attend to the MD.
How’s that for a close call?
So what do you do in that scenario if you were Nurse GJWTHF? Fight of flight? Well, if you’re absolutely sure MD X hasn’t seen you yet then you could very well just slip away silently and take the flight option. What if you’re not sure? Or what if there were no other nurses there? Then take the fight option.
Why? First, you’re at work so you have to do your job. As a nurse you should attend to all patients of the hospital or clinic and MD X is not an exception if he is indeed a patient. Second, running away when MD X has already seen you (and worse, recognized you as a regular at the bar we works for) makes things worse. It makes you look as though you’ve done something wrong when in fact you’re probably just embarrassed or ashamed or both over having your two worlds collide with you so unprepared for such an event on that precise date when it happened. Lastly, you have to take it into account that MD X might not have recognized you (hey, people look different in the dark and when they’re dressed for a gay bar night than they do in their scrub suit or work wear) or that MD X might be equally embarrassed. A good of number of MDs don’t announce to the world that they do what they do for a living. I don’t think MD X would have written macho dancer in the field for occupation in his patient’s data sheet.
GAME FACE ON, GIRL!
Come what may, just put on your game face and be brave. If ever MD X was crude enough to call you by your bar name with a sneer or say something rude then show that you’re in a different league. Don’t stoop down to his level. As Pipay, our regular FM, told me before: most of them in the GB industry know not to greet a guest they meet outside the bar unless the guest greets them first or unless the MD is with another MD from the same bar. Pipay said she doesn’t even greet a guest who’s shopping all by himself in a grocery store for fear that someone might be observing the guest and wonder why Pipay knows the guest.
Yes, most MDs (unless he’s terribly new or terribly crude) would also know better than to refer to your GB habits should you meet in public. The MD probably has a personal vendetta against you if he acts crudely. I remember how Florante was ever so polite to me when he and his guest saw me and my foster brother Luigi at a coffee shop last year. Florante called me Ma’am and only talked to me because he and Luigi used to work for the same bar.
Life is full of trade offs. One of the hazards of being a fun loving GB regular who wishes to keep her true identity secret is the possibility of running into an MD in your workplace or while you’re at work.
Bottomline is that you just have to stay classy and true to yourself. There must be a reason why your worlds suddenly collided. Embrace the lesson to be learned and just do your best in handling things. You can email me your experiences as well if you’re up to it. 🙂