Continued from Part 1
When did my affinity switch? When did I feel more compassion for the other gay bar guests? Well, precisely when I can say that I have distanced myself from the Andrina who’s a gay bar guest herself.
Actually, it’s not difficult to feel friendly towards other gay bar regulars who table MDs other than your own regular(s). But to feel friendly genuinely towards other guests who table your regular is another story. That requires objectivity.
A gay bar guest can objectively see things only when he or she himself/herself is no longer interested in a particular MD who earned him/her gay bar ‘foes’ or is simply no longer interested in the gay bar scene. As often said, it’s different from outside looking in. The view is different when seen from inside looking out.
A WAVE OF COMPASSION FOR DEMI
I didn’t expect to feel a wave of compassion for Demi when I realized that she really loves Liam. It’s not sex (or not just sex) she’s after. Neither is making Liam a trophy boy toy her agenda. Of all of Liam’s regulars in the gay bar, Demi is the one I peg as Liam’s molave tree. She’ll probably be there for him when Liam is fat, frumpy and no longer the popular MD he is right now.
When I was able to put two and two together to realize that it was Demi’s celebration months back that Liam was physically attending while still texting me every few minutes or so, I felt guilty. Liam was physically with Demi then but his attention was with me. Liam is not that quick-witted to multitask effectively, mind you. The fact that he was constantly messaging me and keeping up a text conversation meant his time with Demi then was less than quality time. Sorry, Demi. I truly mean that.
Demi is the one I can see myself befriending of all of Liam’s ‘fans’. However, I hope Demi will be able to find a good man who will love her who she is and not for her purse. Sad to say but Liam isn’t that person. Liam loves himself most. And I know for a fact he sees Demi as an ATM machine. I do hope that Demi finds a good man or that Liam turns into a good man who will see how much Demi cares for him for real.
Architect Lydia is another gay bar guest I see as a friend. I don’t think she wanted sex and only sex from Lawrence. Her efforts to lug heavy foodstuff during Lawrence’s birthday and her sadness over the MD’s sudden vanishing act seems to prove me right.
Architect Lydia is probably a lonely woman who somehow loved Lawrence for real. It’s much easier to see Architect Lydia as a friend though because the girls and I were never interested in Lawrence.
JOJO AND JOSIE
Jess and I would not mind befriending Jojo and Josie now. I just don’t think Josie would welcome it. Ha-ha! But if the chance arises, why not? 🙂
There are still other GB regulars I prefer to distance myself from. Ara is one. Her jealous stance and suspicious ways bother me. Plus the fact that she wants to ‘exterminate’ perceived rivals in any possible way.
Nanette is another gay bar regular I wouldn’t want to be friends with. I’d rather keep her at several arms length.
Petra? Please. I hope the girls and I never run into her again. EVER.
Well, I’ve learned never to close my doors to anything or anyone. If I ever do blog about seeing other sides to Ara, Nanette and Petra then that would mean I’ve grown all the more and evolved even more. That would be great material for this blog. 🙂 For now though, I’d really keep these women as non-friends.
CURIOUS ABOUT KARL’S THOUGHTS
As I write about this, I can’t help but think about my good friend Karl. Karl is in love with Bimby, a fast rising MD. I know that Karl sees a good number of other gay bar regulars and gay bar workers as rivals over Bimby. I wonder if Karl has already reached the stage when he feels compassion for other gay bar regulars who fell for Bimby? Is Karl now able to see things from outside looking in? Or is he still stuck in the view from inside looking out?
SEEING THINGS CLEARLY
I’m glad I see things far more clearly nowadays. The fact that I see other regulars not as foes or rivals but as other men/women who want to have a good time or who just want to be slightly less lonely says a lot about my journey as a gay bar regular.
I suppose I can say that I have grown. I no longer see the gay bar as a scary place. I see it more as a lonely place once the lights are gone and the music silenced.
And yes, there are guests who fall in love for real. There are those who take the MD into their real lives and open their homes to them.
TIPS TO AVOID GAY BAR FOES
Since this blog is all about sharing and empowering gay bar guests or wanna be gay bar guests, then I have to share what I can with you.
1. Observe good manners
Yes, dearies, even in gay bars it pays to observe good manners. Don’t be rude to others in the bar and don’t try to get ahead. If your preferred MD is already tabled then wait your turn or get someone else instead. If you had prior reservations but your MD was still allowed to sit with someone else, talk to the FM calmly and assert your rights politely. Kindness pays off. Really.
2. Stay classy
Even if other guests are rude to you, don’t stoop down to their level. Stay calm and act dignified at all times.
3. Drink moderately
Don’t let alcohol color your perceptions or affect your behavior. Don’t drink on an empty stomach and never drink more than you can handle.
4. GIVE OTHERS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
When in doubt, give others the benefit of the doubt. Being a hag wouldn’t get you far anywhere.
GB regulars don’t have to be foes or rivals for attention. If it’s sex they want from the same MD, there’s plenty of that to go around. If it’s love, well, it cannot be truly bought anyway so no sense fighting over that. If it’s time and affection…ah well…let the MD make the choice himself. A smart MD will pick everyone but let them all think that they were the exclusive choice.
Keep your eyes open at all times and expect the unexpected.
Remember, ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE, WAR AND IN THE GAY BAR! 😉