20 Jan

It cannot be helped that gay bar regulars are often pitted against each other. Especially when two regulars table the same MD. Some form of a love triangle ensues. Think No Other Woman. Who’s more beautiful? Who’s richer? Who gives more drinks to the MD? Who gives a bigger tip? Who does the MD prefer? It’s a race of all sorts. Oh well. All is fair in love, war and in the gay bar. Ha-ha! I love how that sounds. Let me repeat it again: “ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE, WAR AND IN THE GAY BAR!


As (former) gay bar regulars, the girls and I had our own versions of ‘foes’. No, we never fought with any other guests but we knew that other guests fancied the MDs that became staples in our long, long table. Let me give you a brief rundown.


Ella knew that Carlo had his girlfriend Ella (the bar girl with kids from a foreign national who was Carlo’s gay bar guest before she became his girlfriend). Ella vs. Ella is one kind of a ‘foe’ relationship in the loose sense. No, sorry to disappoint those who have not read this blog faithfully, but there never was any confrontation between the two Ellas.

Carlo also had Nanette as a regular and a potential (if not actual) benefactor before our Ella entered the picture. Our Ella contemplated several Ella vs. Nanette foe scenarios for a while.


Red had a good number of regulars during the time Jess was giving him drinks in Earthling. One of Red’s then regular was a jealous matron who would often look at Red and Jess while waiting for Red to transfer to her couch. Jess was ever ready to give Red away then but it was Red who took his sweet time drinking his juice before transferring to his waiting guest.

As for Ramon, well, ha-ha! Jess was rich in ‘foe’ scenarios definitely. Ella warned Jess before to be careful especially when we didn’t know what Janet was capable of and yet we knew that Janet (Ramon’s then pregnant live-in girlfriend) had eyes and ears in the bar.


There was a time when Jess and I would drop by Earthling for an hour or so and then hightail it. We would be giving Ramon and Keith 2 drinks or so only then leave. Little did we know that after we leave, Ramon’s special gay friend (Jojo) and Jojo’s lady friend/workmate (Josie) would arrive in Earthling to give Ramon and Keith drinks. Ramon and Keith’s tandem as partners in crime was solidified since they had their funny little secret. Jess and Andrina would arrive while Jojo and Josie were waiting at some drinking place nearby. Ramon would give Jojo and Josie the go-signal after we leave and they would arrive to make Ramon and Keith even richer in drinks and tips. Buy one take one with Ramon and Keith? Or were they really quite the package deal?

Seriously, Jess saw Jojo as a rival for the longest time. There was a time when we went to Earthling purposely because we knew Jojo was planning to be there. No, Jess and Jojo were never in Earthling at the same time though. No drama.

As for Keith, I knew he had other regulars when he was in Earthling. Keith was quite popular during his time. However, Keith has been consistent in saying (and showing) that he prefers to join me whenever I’m in Earthling. In our table nobody harasses him or touches him inappropriately. More so, as he himself said: “he can be himself” and not have to work hard to pretend to like the guest or feign interest. Keith was requested by other guests several times when he was already in our table. I don’t know if anyone resented me for those times when other guests weren’t able to have Keith as their MD because he chose to stay with me and the girls.

Did I resent Josie? Initially, yes. It annoyed me that Ramon and Keith had their funny little secret at Jess’s and my expense.


Yes, the girls and I have had our run-ins with scary GB guests. Petra during the Ides of March trip is the example most prominent in this blog. Ella was ready to take on Petra one on one then. Jess was ready to shove Red to Petra. I was constantly touching my taser and eying where the guard is.

Apart from physical violence in the bar itself, there are other notions of scary GB guests especially given the ‘foe’ context we are discussing here.


Ara was a former regular/benefactor of Liam. As I’ve said before, Ara has college-age children from a previous marriage. Ara is also the jealous type. No, that’s putting it mildly. Ara is the STALKER type.

I remember when she messaged me in July asking who I was and what my relationship to Liam was. What?! Liam handled that quite well, thankfully, and managed to get Ara off my back. Ara became the benefactor of another (and later on another) MD from a different bar after Liam called it quits with her but she kept her jealous ways. I know for a fact that Ara still monitors (or does her best to do so) each every move of her new MD love. She even expressly stated that her rivals should all be exterminated. WHAT?!

People like Ara who goes around slapping other guests (remember the story that Ara had a slapping incident with Demi, another of Liam’s regulars?) position themselves as foes to other gay bar goers.

DEMI a.k.a. the crazy in love

Well, there’s Ara. And then there’s Demi. Demi is another matron with a teen-age child from a previous relationship. Between the two, Demi for me is less scary. Demi seems to have breeding whereas Ara is totally bereft of it. Demi and Ara got into a slapping incident precisely because Demi asserted her right as Liam’s guest when Ara tried to intrude. Demi told Ara that the latter should respect the former since it was she, Demi, who was Liam’s guest that night. Demi reminded Ara that she, Demi, never even looks their way when Liam is with Ara in Earthling. For Ara to pull Liam aside without even saying ‘excuse me’ to Demi that night was indeed rather rude.

I was initially very scared of Demi as well, mind you. Especially since I knew Demi was way bigger than Ara. Demi plus Ara seemed too much to take on. I was glad the girls and I were not frequenting Earthling during the time Ara messaged me about Liam and after I learned that Ara and Demi got into a slapping incident.


Well, there’s the MD and the MD’s time and attention. No, it’s not the MD’s “love’ that’s there to fight about. Please. Love is never for sale. Love can never be bought. To think that the MD would love you after buying him six drinks and giving him a tip is a big illusion. Only the time and attention of the MD are there to fight about.

What about the MD’s commitment? Ha-ha! I doubt it. What’s there to prevent the MD from having six or more bfs/gfs? The MD will just lie and tell each of the six or more bfs/gfs that they are the only ones for him. A crafty MD will not easily be discovered as a liar. It could take months or even years before the craft MD is unmasked as a six-timer or worse.


Bottom line is that gay bar regulars are really foes over nothing. The MD is after money. It’s very rare if at all the MD falls for a guest. And chances are it’s still remotely related to money somehow. Even Carlo and his girlfriend Ella’s relationship is still money-centered. Ella finances Carlo’s ventures.

How and when does a gay bar foe turn into a friend of some sort if at all? Well, that’s for Part2.

To be continued….


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