I made friends with a post-operative transsexual recently. Let’s call her Nikki in this blog. Nikki is based abroad and she’s head over heels in love with an MD.
Nikki’s sex reassignment surgery took place almost a decade ago. She underwent the surgery abroad. Nikki has been living as a female ever since. She told me even her birth certificate in the Philippines now reflects her gender as female.
Nikki is curvy. Her body is like that of a female indeed. Even her features are feminine. Ella says Nikki is not pretty up-close. Still, Nikki is feminine looking. I sometimes tease her that her aura resembles that of Gretchen Barretto’s.
My new friend says her features have always been feminine looking even when she was a child. Nikki really saved up for her sex reassignment surgery.
Nikki told me she’s suffered a string of heartbreaks in the past. She said she was always taken advantage of by her ex-boyfriends who ended up using her for material gain.
Now Nikki is in love with an MD who is doing pretty much the same to her. Nikki knows the guy has a wife and kids. Nikki’s mind knows what she should do but the heart wants what it wants.
Nikki admits that her present MD love is different from her ex-boyfriends physically. She further claims it was love at first sight for her. Nikki had a different MD with her for two nights in the gay bar. The MD with her was good looking and popular. Then Nikki saw her MD love and it was just magic. There has been no looking back ever since.
A GOOD GIRL
Nikki is unlike Nanette or Ara. She’s not after sex. She’s happy just talking with her MD love over skype. A text now and then, chatting here and there. Nikki is not a man-eater.
Nikki admits that it was her MD love who initiated sex each time and it was never her. Nikki also doesn’t change boyfriends as though she’s just changing clothes. Nikki is after companionship and a lasting relationship more than anything else.
NIKKI GETS REALISTIC
Nikki admitted she knows that an MD, especially a young single one, will eventually look for a ‘real girl’ who could give him a biological child. Nikki said she knows that her time with her MD love is but borrowed time. She said she doesn’t see herself growing old with her MD love.
Nikki told me not to pity her. I told her I don’t. I really don’t. Yes, I’m a little sad for her and over the reality of it all. But I don’t pity Nikki. I admire her.
As Nikki said: “Hindi ako pa-girl. Yung iba diyan naoperahan lang akala nila tinubuan na rin sila ng matres.” (I don’t act girly. Others think that just because they underwent sex reassignment surgery they already got a uterus)
NO MONEY NO HONEY
I told Nikki Jessica’s suggestion that she, Nikki, stays in her relationship with her married MD love but doesn’t give him a single centavo. It can just be all about a relationship. Nikki told me that’s not possible. Nikki knows that money is part of the equation especially for “people like her”. By “people like her” Nikki means gays and transsexuals (post-op or otherwise).
Nikki’s eyes are wide open. She knows what her MD love primarily wants from her: money.
Nikki doesn’t know if she can trust her MD love. She knows he feeds her lies day in and day out. Nikki says she doesn’t know anymore when her MD love is lying or telling the truth.
SIMILARITIES WITH NIKKI
Can you see yourself in the same boat as Nikki?
The girls and I were born females but still we can identify with Nikki. Ella herself said half a year ago that Carlo has great financial needs that she, Ella, cannot support. Jess herself admits that Ramon was primarily after money. Even I was worried before that Liam stands to lose money he gets from Ara the more time he spent communicating with me. We all knew that with MDs it’s somehow related to money still even though we were born biological females.
Nikki also knows she should not cause the break-up of her MD love and his wife. Nikki knows that there are children involved. I remember how Jess felt that she shouldn’t be in the picture because Ramon and Janet were expecting their first child together. Also how Ella lost all desire to pursue Carlo when she found out he was in a serious relationship with his Ella. None of us—girl, boy, gay,—- wants to be the third party who causes families to deteriorate and ruins relationships. Who wants the blood in their hands?
As for the lies, well. Who wants to be lied to? More so if it’s from the get-go and all the time.
Nikki is unable to let go as of now. Her heart is prevailing over what she knows she should do. Her goal is to be able to let go of her MD love and let him be with his family. But then again, if it’s not Nikki it might just be another transsexual, gay, or woman that the MD will be with.
I hope Nikki will be able to make the right choice—right for herself, her MD love and all those involved. Indeed love knows no gender, race, age.