I enjoyed writing Tips For Ladies Choosing an MD to Table (Special Topics 4.1) in January. Now as part of my revisiting rampage I shall review what I wrote nine months ago and see what I can revise, affirm or otherwise add. 😉
NINE MONTHS AGO
I can hardly believe it’s been nine months since I wrote the post we are revisiting here. Time flies. I can’t say I disagree with anything I said in January. Especially the bit about how good looking MDs from afar might not be good looking up-close. Haha. I guess I just have more to say about the topic now. I’ll share ’em all with you.
SEE WHAT’S THERE FIRST
An all-cast is a must when you’re choosing for the first time. The MDs will all be onstage and you can see how one looks next to the others. It’s best to see all the options first before selecting one (or several). There are many fishes in the ocean after all. 😉
Even when you already have a regular, the all-cast will still help you see the new MDs and others who might have been absent the other times you were in the bar.
In January, I introduced in this blog our concept of one-drink wonders. Well, we’ve practiced the said concept a good number of times. I for one have given one drink to three different MDs all in one night. The girls and I have collectively given 12 MDs one drink each all at once then sent them on their way.
Once during a big night when Keith and Ramon had to keep dancing, Jess and I gave one drink each to Luigi and Patrick before sending them on their way. We just wanted to give drinks to those who haven’t been given a drink by anyone yet and at the same time have someone to talk to and watch the grand production numbers with.
Practicing the one-drink wonder concept will help you meet a lot of MDs and at the same time get rid of those you don’t enjoy.
YOU’RE THE BOSS
Don’t forget that ever when you’re in they gay bar: you’re the boss. You are a guest and you’re the one they all have to entertain and be polite to. It’s the MD who should try to please you and not the other way around.
That having been said, here are a few dos and don’ts:
1. Don’t let the floor manager bully you into choosing an MD you don’t like.
Even if the FM swears to high heavens that the MD he or she is shoving your way is hot and a great entertainer, don’t feel obliged to give the boy a drink if you have your eye on someone else. Remember: you’re the boss.
2. Take What the FM says with a grain of salt
FMs have their own stables in the gay bar. Each FM has a pet. They would discourage you from tabling other MDs as well. Sometimes the FM just wants to be helpful. Maybe he or she even cares enough about you. More often than not though the FM is just pushing his or her own boys to the top of the pack or otherwise attempting to let his or her own personal bias color your perception.
I remember how Pipay reacted when I told him Ella wanted to meet Charlie and that I was reserving Charlie for Ella. Pipay was visibly surprised and even silent for a moment.
There was also a time when I asked Pipay about another MD who resembled Charlie somehow. I was thinking of reserving the said MD for Ella another time. Pipay told me she wouldn’t recommend the said guy. Why? Because his body was flabby and his face like the moon’s crater, Pipay said. Whoa. Dissing an MD from the bar, eh? I guess the said MD was so not in Pipay’s stable of boys.
3. Be firm. You’re the boss after all.
I was firm about reserving Charlie for Ella. It was Charlie that Ella found attractive physically and no way was I letting Pipay get in the way. Let Ella make her own judgement about the MD. Let the guy rise or fall on his own merits and not on the say-so of an FM with a stable of boys he favors.
Even if an FM brings a boy to your table and the boy shakes hands with you, don’t feel obliged to give him a drink if you don’t want to. You can just tell him it’s nice to meet him and you’ll keep him in mind for next time or so.
4. Do stay polite all the while. Be friendly and cordial to all.
Do stay civil and cordial even when you’re being firm. Treat everyone with dignity. As I always say, keep it classy. 😉
SEEING THROUGH THE LIES
The FM could give you false information about the MD you want to table. In our case, Pipay said Carlo was younger than his actual age. Ruffa told us Michael was 18 when he was actually 22. We were also told that Red was a teenager when he was not. We’ve given MDs drinks based on what the FM said that we later found out to be false information. Michael and Red were made part of our kiddie party supposedly only for teenage MDs when they were actually both above 20.
How do you see through the lies? Well, there’s no hard and fast rule. There’s no guaranty that you can and will see through lies though, especially well-crafted ones. The only advice I can give on this point is to be alert and to trust your gut. If your friends are with you then seek their input. Another pair of eyes won’t hurt.
IT’S WHAT YOU WANT THAT MATTERS
After seeing the choices, it’s your call who to pick as drink recipient. See your choice up-close and exchange pleasantries (hi, hello) first before committing to giving him at least one drink. I suggest you at least hear how his voice sounds like first before letting him sit down. Oh, and remember that you are not obliged to give him more than one drink. If you don’t enjoy the MD then let him go after one drink and pick a new one. Don’t be shy to do so if that’s what can salvage the remainder of your evening.
Go with your gut and with what you want for whatever reason you may have. Just let the MD you table be your choice and not the FM’s. It’s your money that’s going to cover the tab after all. You ought to enjoy at the very least. 😉