GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN: Tips for Ladies Headed For a Macho Dancer Bar or Gay Bar—Revisited! (SPECIAL TOPICS 4.2)

17 Oct

I might as well go on a review rampage of previous posts here. Stagnant ain’t the way to go after all. 😉

One of my favorite posts ever in this blog was my post called Tips for Ladies Headed For a Macho Dancer Bar or Gay Bar (SPECIAL TOPICS 4). In that post I shared information that I wish I had known before I set foot inside a gay bar. I hope with that post I was able to help, um, alert first timers about what they should know.

Here I am now eights month after I wrote that post. So much has happened since then. The girls and I are much wiser nowadays—-or I’d like to believe so at least. Walang basagan ng trip. Heehee. 🙂

This post is Special Topics 4.2 because I wrote a Special Topics 4.1 right after 4.0. Yes, you guessed right. Special Topics 4.2 will be part of the review rampage as well. Watch out for it.

A Reliable Source Gone

What’s changed since I wrote the tips for ladies headed for a gay bar? Well, for one the source I cited in that post is no longer active. The Resident of Gonograd’s posts were all deleted and his blog is no longer active. The last post dated 14 April 2011 said that the Resident of Gonograd died and that it was his friend posting the said message. The said friend further announced that the posts in the blog will be deleted in accordance to the wishes of the blogger. Nothing more was heard from the Resident of Gonograd after that.

It’s such a shame that the posts were deleted since the Resident of Gonograd has been to almost all the gay bars in Metro Manila. He had photos, descriptions, price quotations and reviews of various bars in the Metro. The posts would certainly have helped first timers in making up their minds as to which bar to go to.

I suggest that first timers —particularly ladies—go to one of the bigger and well known bars in Metro Manila. There are a good number of choices whether you’re from up north or down south. You can always let your fingers do the walking and search the net for these big, established bars. Or if you’re lazy you can email me and I’ll tell you what I know about the bar you have in mind. Ha-ha! 😀

Some Additional Tips

Here are some of the things I learned that were not included in my January post:

1. Avoid giving indications that you are an heiress or otherwise a potential ATM

What are some of the indications I’m talking about? Well, one is wearing too much jewelry—-real ones. A good number of MDs can tell when your jewelry is real, believe me. Another indication that you’re a potential walking ATM is when you whip out expensive gadgets in front of your MD. Whipping out your Iphones, Ipads and other stuff that screams rich is not something I would recommend. Also, wearing branded stuff or otherwise looking too, um, princess-like could give away your economic status in life. More so if you arrive in a BMW.

As I said in Special Topics 4.0, it’s best to look simple when headed for a gay bar. Dress comfortably. You can feel pretty and comfortable while looking simple at the same time. Maybe you can leave the fancy wheels at home as well?

2. Exercise discretion

Ladies, do NOT count your moolah in front of the MDs either. Have your money ready before you leave the house. If you and your friends are pooling your money together then have a pow-wow in the ladies room and let one play cashier. You can always ask the waiter for the bill before you pool your money together in private. Be discreet when paying. Be even more discreet when handing an MD his tip. Fold the money in such a way that no one can see how much it really is. Then do your best to hand it to the MD when the light flickers or otherwise when no one can see you giving him a tip.

Here’s something I used to do: I would fold the bill in the ladies room and put in my pocket. That way it’s easy to pull out and hand discretely to the MD during a dark moment. When the girls and I had many one drink wonders at the same time, I would have many folded bits in my pocket and I would sometimes even be clasping folded bills already in my hand after a trip to the powder room with the girls.

3. It still is best to give out a prepaid number (if you must at all)

I’ll say flatly that in hindsight I believe no girl should exchange numbers with an MD after the first time they meet (that applies to you, young men, as well). Exchanging numbers and being textmates will just open the floodgates. Ugh. I’ve seen it happen to the best of us. Sure, there are many levels and each person is affected differently but still. Avoid opening floodgates, if you can.

However, if you REALLY feel the need to exchange numbers then I suggest you buy a prepaid SIM card for that purpose alone. Best not to save an MD in your REAL mobile number (especially a postpaid one) unless and until you’re certain you want to keep him in your life. A new gay friend has his MD contacts in his postpaid numbers but he’s probably way tougher than you and I combined, girl.

What if you don’t have a prepaid number when you go to the bar? Simple. Let the MD give you his mobile number instead and then just message him after you buy one later on. Tell the MD you’re low batt or you don’t have load at the moment so you’ll just get his number. That way you also have the option to throw away his number and not contact him at all should you change your mind about staying in touch outside the bar.


Most first timers, the girls and I included, are often too nervous and/or too giggly to have fun during the first time(s) they set foot inside the gay bar. Ella couldn’t even look at Carlo when he was brought to our table. Jess, on her part, wanted to bolt from our couch during our first time. She wanted to sit near the exit so she has the option of making a quick escape when she finds things to be too much. As for me, well, I was too giggly and awkward the first times. I resorted to downing four beers to help me unwind but I ended up interrogating Banjo (so they say).

Ladies, just chillax. Easy on the alcohol. You won’t enjoy the show if you’ve had way too much to drink. Also, you might end up being horrible to the people around you when under the influence of alcohol.

No need to fret. The boys there are human beings. True, they are scantily clad human beings but humans nonetheless. They are not alien creatures, I assure you (well, most of them are not). Talk to them calmly and try to enjoy the entire experience.

Watch the show. Lessen the giggles if you can. It might be hard the first time(s) but make a valiant effort to act mature anyway. Ella often had to shush Jess and me a lot because we were so giggly the first few times.

5. Have fun but keep things real

Yes, I’m a girl who just wants to have fun. I assume you are too (either a girl or a guy who just wants to have fun). That’s precisely what we’re in the gay bar for: to have fun. However, it’s important that we don’t lose sight of reality.

Remember that you’re not inside the bar to buy love or to rent a boyfriend or a boy toy. Love and a real relationship cannot be bought. Neither can they exist after just one or two drinks with an MD inside the gay bar. Always keep in mind that the general rule is that MDs will act the way they think you want them to be around you. It’s their job to keep you happy inside the gay bar. Always take what they say—especially compliments—with a grain of salt. Guard your hearts, okay?

The gay bar is fun, yes. It’s important though that you don’t have too much fun that you forget about the good things going for you outside the gay bar. Having a parallel universe in the form of the gay bar is not a good goal, ladies. The gay bar is just for fun. There’s so much more to life than the bar. 😉


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